Carl Icahn Taps Dr. Luke for a Comeback Nobody Asked For

Featuring diss tracks, tender offers, and one deeply confused Gen Z intern

GREENWICH, CT — Carl Icahn is tired. Tired of boards ignoring his open letters. Tired of ESG. Tired of being mistaken for Warren Buffett at Whole Foods.

But he’s not done.

After witnessing pop star Katy Perry attempt to reclaim her relevance by teaming up with cancelled-but-charting producer Dr. Luke, Icahn had an epiphany:

“If Teenage Dream 2.0 can get a second chance… maybe hostile takeovers can too.”

Now, at 88 and fueled entirely by spite and Diet Coke, Carl Icahn is stepping back into the spotlight with a collaboration no one predicted and even fewer asked for: a financial redemption arc, executive produced by Dr. Luke — the industry's most persistent case of reputational long COVID.