🧠 Naval Launches “Quote Me More” to Fix the World’s Wisdom Deficit

A Substack, an AI, and chewable aphorisms—because fewer people are quoting Naval, and that’s apparently a crisis.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a bold attempt to “accelerate the global optimization of signal over noise,” angel investor and walking Zen koan Naval Ravikant today announced his new Substack, Quote Me More, aimed at “restoring the sacred tweet-to-quote ratio among founders, VCs, and people who drink coffee with butter in it.”

Sources close to Naval say he grew concerned as the zeitgeist shifted dangerously toward things other than him—like macroeconomics, AI, and actual product development.

“It was time,” he said, “to remind the world that the best returns still come from quoting me in 2013.”

“I noticed a dip in the ambient quote frequency of my older insights,” Ravikant wrote, “and realized I was letting the market price my wisdom instead of owning the distribution. That’s not leverage - that’s negligence.”

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Quote Me More promises a weekly drop of high-density Naval-isms, each forged in solitude and optimized for high engagement and low entropy.

🧘‍♂️Features include:

• Pre-Viral Aphorisms – wisdom formatted for immediate screenshotting and X-ing

• Founder’s First Drafts – quotes tailored to sound deep even when you're super-freakin’ confused

• Auto-Tweet Packs – curated 7-tweet threads with built-in meditation timer

• NavalGPT Beta Access – a whisper-only AI that answers only in paradoxes and price signals

“I’m not starting a newsletter,” Ravikant clarified. “I’m launching a personal idea liquidity protocol.”

Subscribers will also gain early access to Quote Mining™, an AI tool that scans Naval’s tweet history to remix new quotes from old ones.

One early user praised the tool after it generated:

“Escape competition through stillness, but raise capital like it’s war.”

A leaked screenshot from NavalGPT shows a sparse UI with a blinking Commodore PET style cursor and the words:
“Ask, but only if you’re ready to not understand the answer.”

🚴‍♂️ Introducing Quote Blox™ by Naval

Wisdom you can chew. Clarity you can taste.

“If you can’t ingest the signal, you’re still surrounded by noise.” — Naval Ravikant (allegedly)

After noticing a steep drop in ambient aphorism retention among founders, Ravikat knew something had to change.
Attention spans were collapsing. Quote engagement was down.
Macro conditions were up, but inner peace was flat.

So he did what any angel philosopher would do:
He developed the world’s first cognitive performance chewable optimized for distribution of dense insight, in low-bandwidth environments.

🧘‍♂️ Formulated for:

• Long rides (physical or psychedelic)

• Thread drafting in a fasted state

• Founder–LP syncs that turn into pitchless podcasts

• Burning out gracefully

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🍬 Available in 3 High-Signal Flavors:

• 🍇 Grape Escape Competition
  Unlock freedom—plus antioxidants.

• 🍋 Lemon Leverage Burst
  Citric asymmetry for exponential absorption.

• 🥥 Stoic Coconut (limited edition)
  Stillness that melts in your mouth, in between other nootropic thoughts

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🧠 Active Ingredients:

• 5g Electrolytes

• 100mg Adaptogenic Insight

• 1 Naval Aphorism™ (time-released via sublingual absorption, every 20 mins)

• 0g Sugar, 100% Signal

No artificial thoughts. No tweet preservatives. Just pure philosophical macros.

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Coming soon to Erewhon, DAO vending machines, and limited drop auctions.
Because if you're not absorbing Naval, someone else is.

When reached for comment, Ravikant replied via NFT voice memo containing 12 seconds of silence, a distant bell chime, and the sound of someone solving for meaning.

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⚠️ Disclaimer

This is satire. Nothing above is real.
Naval Ravikant did not launch “Quote Me More.” He did not create NavalGPT. No quote-mining AI exists (yet).
There is no endorsement—explicit or implied. All quotes are fictional unless accidentally true.
The parody is fake. The fundraising pain is not.

But if Naval did launch Quote Me More, we’d subscribe twice and immediately start a DAO about it. No founders were harmed—though a few did spiral. Please don’t build an idea liquidity protocol unless properly hydrated.

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