Judges Can’t Judge, So Judge Will Judge

When the bench broke down, the only ones left standing were straight-edge. Meet the new moral authority of the U.S. court system: a panel of hardcore lifers from New York’s most righteously pissed-off

Today, in a move no one predicted (except maybe Walter Schreifels), the U.S. federal judiciary announced it is formally stepping back from overseeing misconduct cases involving its own judges.

The reason? A searing NPR exposé detailing how law clerks face retaliation and silence when they speak up about abuse.

The solution? Not ethics reform. Not independent oversight. No, they’re going full NYHC.

The new national disciplinary panel will be composed entirely of the members of Judge, the legendary late-’80s straight-edge hardcore band forged in the fire of the Lower East Side and baptized in sweat at CBGB’s Sunday matinees.

Apparently, if you can handle the pit at ABC No Rio, you can handle a constitutional crisis.